I moved to Cummins in 1996 after marrying a local girl and all her family were here in Cummins. I was working in Port Lincoln and a job came up at the Cummins Hotel and we moved here. I had friends through work but didn’t make too many more community connections until our kids started playing sport.

One of my happiest memories was in 1997 when our first child was born, and then in 2001 when our daughter was born. Previous to having our children I had experienced mental health struggles. And upon reflection I realise this had been from a young age, but then when my sister was killed in a car accident in 1998, I spiralled significantly.

I felt like I came full circle with my struggles once we had our kids because I had these amazing little people loving me unconditionally, looking up to me and relying on me. Some of the highlights of being a dad have been watching them play sport and observing their developing resilience in life. They have been able to speak to me about anything and everything and I have loved and encouraged that. They even sometimes brought friends home who were struggling and just needing someone to listen to them. Some challenges we faced over their childhood included having multiple hospitalisations while they were young and telling them that, “dad had a headache and had to go to hospital”. Later, when they were older, both kids revealed that they knew it wasn’t headaches and something else entirely.

When their mum and I separated, I had some really open and honest discussions with our kids about myself and life. At this time, they were about 16 and 20 years old. They were very supportive and their love for me never wavered. They just wanted their dad to be happy. Now that I am a grandfather, I feel a different love altogether. Seeing your kids with their kids makes me burst with pride. When I watch my son instilling family values into his family life like the way he was brought up, I feel extremely proud.

There is a sense of cheekiness when I interact with my grandson. The other day I let him have his bubble blower before bed even though his mum and dad said no! I ate the ears off his chocolate Easter bunny over Easter and last weekend I had a little dance with him at my 50th birthday party. He was so happy; it was so good. It made me think everything I have been through has been worthwhile.

I am now working in my dream job helping other people with mental health and wellbeing struggles at Our Town Cummins and as a community in home support carer. I still have bad days, but it will never be as bad as it was. I have implemented positive strategies and a strong support network. Embracing my sexuality and identity and becoming strong in who I am inspires me to help others. I used to struggle but I know now that being gay doesn’t stop me being a dad, a son, a brother, a friend and a valued member of society.