I have lived in on our family farm at Kapinnie outside of Cummins my whole life. I have done all my schooling here in Cummins and am the youngest of 3 sisters. When I was 12 years old my dad’s dad, our Pappa Lloyd passed away and it was devastating for our whole family. I took it badly as I had been very close to him growing up. A few years earlier he had been diagnosed with Dementia and around the same time he had a car accident and consequently had his license taken away from him.

The news of Pappa Lloyd’s death came early on the home phone on November 24th 2016. At 6:45am the house phone rang, and dad answered it. It was Grandy and I knew straight away what had happened. After dad told us girls, I pulled the quilt up over my head and cried.

I remember Leah going to school that day as she had her Year 8 science trip. Selenia also went as she was in year 11 and had exams, I think. I stayed home because there was no way I was going to school that day. I remember Nana ringing and speaking to me that day. It is funny the things you remember. I watched movies that day and I remember watching Cat in a Hat.

I can’t remember the date of his funeral but I can remember the polka dot dress I wore. The funeral was at the Mount Hope Hall. I was completely fine until I saw mum crying outside before we went inside. We walked inside and the first thing I saw was his casket at the front and I was overcome with emotion

The service was great though. The entire Mount Hope Hall was full and there were even people standing outside listening. Pappa Lloyd was an avid cricketer, so it was a nice tribute to him when the hearse did a lap of the Mount Hope oval to honour him.

Before he was in hospital long term, our family had regular interactions with Pappa Lloyd on the farm. I have many treasured memories of him. One of my favourites include a time when we were in Cummins and escorting machinery home and Pappa Lloyd and I were in the Ute in front and talking a whole banter about dad – he thinks he’s top gun! We stopped at the deli so Pappa could get an Iced Coffee. Whenever any of us girls were with him, he would take a gulp of his Iced Coffee and give us the rest! He would also always give us airtime on the UHF which always made us feel a bit special. I have happy memories of sitting in the header with him and also playing Uno at home. He didn’t know how to play but he insisted anyway. To me he was a complete gentleman, and he never swore around females. Every year we have a big hawk that flies around the header or hangs around while we are reaping. Dad and I are convinced that it is Papa Lloyd letting us know he is still around! Dad and I have always been close, but I think losing Pappa Lloyd brought us closer together and he is still dad and my number one topic of conversation. Losing Pappa Lloyd changed my life. When he passed my mental health deteriorated. I loved him dearly and still miss him terribly.

A year after his death, near his anniversary, I was sexually assaulted which made life even harder. This was on my 13th birthday. From then up until I left school in 2022, I felt like my life was a roller coaster ride. I lost my best friend. My self-confidence diminished and I had body image issues. I was all over the place because some days I was really low and other days I felt I was on top of the world.

At the moment, I am in a better place. I have been working fairly consistently and enjoying life. It’s been great working in the shearing sheds, but I also love helping dad. My mental health has been better overall. I spend a lot of time with my best friend, and I am working consistently. I still think of Pappa Lloyd every day. In January this year I went and got a tattoo in his memory. Mum, Dad, Selenia, Leah and our cousin Corey all have a tattoo in memory of Pappa Lloyd. In years to come when I have kids of my own, I am going to tell them all about Pappa Lloyd. I am going to tell them ‘You are going to want to marry someone like Pappa Lloyd, he was a kind man and a true gentleman’.”